THE SLOWNESS IN LEARNING TO SING

I started learning how to sing about 8 ago with SingFest - an online singing education platform and community that has awakened my heart to the goodness of self expression and self empowerment through voice and being together. The thing I value most about about learning to sing is all the newness and how good it is for my brain.

It’s awesome not knowing how to do something. 

It feels strangely good to step out of my comfort zones - we get really good at sitting in the known as we grow up. 

To be vulnerable.

And to not be good at something. 

I can literally feel new synapses being created. New neural pathways developing in my brain.

I feel clumsy, because it’s unfamiliar. I make mistakes. And sound terrible. But it also feels really freaking good.

That moment when there’s a new level of understanding in the body / brain that didn’t exist before is pure magic. It’s what life is meant to be made up of. There’s so many ‘ah ha’ moments.

How often do you get to experience that as an adult? 

I’m at a stage where I know what I don’t know. I know where it’s not good enough, yet, and how much work there is to do. And there’s a brewing impatience for my voice to be better, stronger, bigger, more capable. A yearning to bypass the murky waters of learning and just be good enough right now. 

It’s encouraged me, once again, to take a page from Mackenzie’s book, and reflect on the things she has had to learn, against all odds. Against a compromised brain - how with slow and intentional perseverance, she’s gotten to do things we were told would be unachievable. 

4 years to walk. 

6 years to eat orally without a feeding tube. 

The length of time it took to work through to the goal made the attainment so damn special. 

So what’s my rush? We are always trying to get somewhere and forget to enjoy the journey. When I get to being whatever I perceive to be a good singer (I mean, who’s to say I’m not already good enough?), it won’t be new anymore. 

And the newness is where all the juice is - because it’s been a long time since I did something that was hard and challenged me in this way. It’s been a long time since I really paid attention to the intricacies of my body (throat, tongue, mouth, lungs - it really is an incredible instrument in there).

So I’m choosing to hold on to being a beginner a little while longer. 

And I am loving the process ... because that’s all it all is. A process - to no where, really. A bunch of moments. That will lead me, simply, to a deeper understanding of my body and a better relationship with my self.

And there’s no end goal in that game 🖤