"BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME"
During an Hour of Essence coaching call with an incredible special needs mama she shared with me the common modern day complaint that she’s exhausted, feels lost and overwhelmed, and whilst she’s desperate to connect with herself she doesn’t have time. She can’t think clearly, she isn’t sleeping and she feels anxious about the demands on her. This used to be my story too. My days were too full, my schedule too busy, my energy levels too low and I didn’t have time to meet my own needs because my daughter, Mackenzie demanded so much of me. In telling myself ‘I don’t have time’ I subconsciously put things in place to prove myself right. I put more energy and effort into fulfilling the needs of everyone else but me.
Until I burnt out.
Life is busy, I know. We’re all trying to keep up with the demands of career fulfilment, social engagements, living expenses, family commitments and life. Throw in a child with additional needs and the days and weeks fill up months in advance prioritised by scheduling specialist appointments, reviews, therapy, equipment trials, hospitalisation and undergoing the gruelling process of NDIS planning ... It’s an exhausting and constantly growing list of things that must be done to support our children’s growth and development in hope that we can overcome the lifelong impact of their complex needs.
Then there’s the household needs that must be met to avoid an acute freak-out about the washing piling up in the bathroom. And somewhere amongst the cleaning and cooking we need to spend spend quality time with the family, go to bed at a decent hour and try and reduce the coffee addiction that keeps us awake at night. You’re with me?
When I burnt in 2016 I didn’t have a choice but to prioritise my own health and wellbeing. Who was going to keep meeting Mackenzie’s needs if I was bed ridden? I realised that my story about having no time was partly due to the fact that I felt guilty for prioritising myself over my child and I hated asking for help. But when I couldn’t physically do it on my own anymore it became a necessity to receive support, and over time it became easier to ask for it.
“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity”
When I burnt out I knew something had to change so I decided to slow down. And I decided to change my story. Here’s how:
I had to fake it until I made it with the power of thought and manifestation. I started with a mantra every morning - ‘I have ample time to complete the tasks that I need to today; I have time to nourish myself and fill up my own cup, and there is enough left over to enjoy quality time with Mackenzie’. I started to feel less busy and more in control of the demands placed on me.
I invested time in reviewing my schedule and created a stringent routine using a weekly planner like this one that met the demands of my week-to-week needs. I set a time for the mundane like laundry, ironing, grocery shopping and baking. If you watch my IG stories you’ll see Kenz and I at the markets and baking every Sunday as part of our appreciation for organic food and home baked goods free of sugar and processed ingredients. I scheduled my work days, yoga, study, meditation and socialising. As with my coaching client this week, when I looked at my week, there was actually plenty of time available for self-fulfilment and nourishment that I wasn’t aware was there. I had to cultivate self-awareness of how and when I was using my energy and become more efficient in doing tasks at the set times so I didn’t chew into my ‘me time’.
I started meditating every day for 10 mins using Insight Timer and overtime it organically increased to 30-60 minutes. I noticed a reduction in feelings of anxiety (especially when stressed), decrease in chronic gut inflammation and stress, better sleep, more enjoyment in my days, and feelings of restfulness and peace of mind. I felt more capable of managing the demands of my life and felt less busy.
I woke up at 430am to have time to myself. When I ‘couldn’t find time in my day’ I made more time by rising earlier than Mackenzie. I made more time to fill up my cup with journaling, meditation, exercise, intention setting, visualisations and to enjoy an energising herbal tea on my own. I learnt this after reading My Miracle Morning.
I scheduled in exercise as part of my daily commitment to myself. As for many special needs mums we need to be strong, energised and fit to meet the physical demands of caring for our children. As Mackenzie grew I needed to be stronger and my back health needed to be managed. I stopped feeling guilty for leaving her so I could go to yoga and I took her out on our bike to enjoy time in nature together. I stopped letting her be my excuse and started seeing her as my reason to be a little selfish in the pursuit of self care and wellbeing. With the release of endorphins I felt happier and less stressed and naturally wanted to eat better and sleep more.
I invested in Isagenix and gave my body the reboot in needed to feel energised, to improve my sleep, to address the chronic stress-induced gut inflammation I used to suffer from, and to feel in control of what I eat. This incredible nutrition program truly changed my health. It’s given me a new appreciation for convenient nutrition and earthy goodness that promotes wellbeing and is perfect for the busy mama. 30 seconds to prepare and eat my morning meal to start my day off with epic nutrition … Yes please!
We all have the same amount of time available to us. Whilst the demands on us differ, we have a choice about how we allow those demands impact on us. Take a breath, look at your weeks with a birds-eye-view, and create more time to nourish you. When you begin to prioritise and truly understand the value in honouring your own time, recognise that you can choose to create more time for yourself, and take control of your life and energy, here are my top 10 tips to nourish your body, mind and soul. You’re worth it.
If you’re looking for ways to utilise your time better, feel wholesome and nourished, well rested and revitalised, my coaching services offer time and space to support you on your journey to connect with the essence of your true self, full of abundance, wellbeing and joy. If you’d love to chat about how Isagenix gave me a new lease on life and continues to support me on my journey contact me. I offer my time for free to talk about this incredible program that I’ve been using for over 2 years now.
With love and light,
Tan x