POLARITY

There are moments when I feel completely embodied in my purpose. I feel like a fierce but delicate woman bathed in strength, intelligence, wisdom, freedom, femininity and a heart full of generous offerings. My vision feels clear and powerful and my mission to support as many women as possible to collectively break free of any limitations that inhibit our potential for profound joy, fulfilment and love is paving its way seamlessly through all barriers. And then there’s challenging moments I endure as a Mother where the joy & fulfilment are stripped away and I’m left feeling trapped and confused.

I spent a week in Bali facilitating a transformational and truly magical retreat with 15 women alongside my beautiful friend. A life changing experience that felt so aligned with my vision, my wildest dreams and all the wonder of creative potential that I strive for. On my return home to my daughter, Mackenzie I was thrown into the woes of special needs parenting and experienced moments of despair, extreme exhaustion, isolation, anxiety, vulnerability, weakness, despondence and worry. In the weeks after that incredible journey in Bali where I felt a great sense of freedom, spaciousness and adventure, I felt confined by my environment & overwhelmed by the polarities in my roles as a mother and entrepreneur.

I lost sight of how I can harmoniously and realistically merge my life roles. How do I continue to live my life embodied, fierce, feminine, free and of service as a single mother to a child with complex and challenging needs that strips me to my knees, weak and vulnerable, trapped & frightened at times?

When I gave myself a little space to tune in and listen to the sensations in my body I realised that the opposing qualities of each role are already married in a harmonious dance. They are already working together. They are the yin and the yang, the light and the dark, the strong and the weak, the masculine and feminine. I could see, with incredible clarity, that in those moments of perceived weakness a great strength shines through. I see that in those moments of isolation a community of people stand by my side. I see the wisdom that has allowed me to grow, and the delicacy in my vulnerability. I see that balance of masculine energy that holds me together until I can collapse at the end of the day and be held, soft and tender, in the loving words of a friend who texts to tell me they see me. In the safety of a loving embrace I can finally let the masculinity go and cry until I fall asleep. And there in the silence of the night the Divine Feminine works her way back in.

My passion for supporting women to move beyond their perceived limitations exists only because of my role as a mother. It is my journey as a special needs mum that has given rise to the creative freedom I have to travel, create retreats and online programs, support women in my coaching program and to write. They are dancing gracefully and constantly reminding me that one does not exist without the other. And each opportunity to remember brings gratitude for awareness, for change and growth, and hope for continuation that every moment facilitates opportunity for newness, should we be free to create enough space to see it.